Preparing for Birth: Setting the Stage

Photo by Anna Hecker on Unsplash

 

Most women have a clear picture in mind when they think of birth. Shaped by stories from family and friends, by snippets from movies, and by their own imagination. While some await the baby’s arrival with joy, for others the idea of giving birth is often associated with fears.

Perhaps you are expecting a baby and that’s how you found your way here, then: congratulations! Wonderful things lie ahead for you! But even if you want to prepare for a possible pregnancy first, you are in exactly the right place. We will not only show you how to best prepare for the birth of your child, but also how to deal with your fears so that you can start this exciting stage of life as relaxed and calm as possible.

What decisions do I need to make before the birth? Before the birth, you should decide where you want to give birth and whom you want to have with you during the birth. You should also have a clear idea in mind of how you want the birth to proceed and share this with your support person. Decide which interventions you will allow and which measures should only be used in an emergency.

We have put together a short guide with the most important basics to help you prepare for the upcoming birth.

Preparation for the birth: You can do it!

Even if it may frighten you, you can approach the birth of your child with confidence. Birth is a natural process and your body is made exactly for it. You can also turn to a midwife and your doctors for support. Births are part of their everyday life and they will support you to the best of their abilities.

The midwife in particular can play an important role because, thanks to her experience, she can help you find the right doctor and the perfect clinic for your needs. Start looking for a midwife early and pay attention to your gut feeling during the introductory meeting. After all, this person is meant to accompany you throughout the entire pregnancy and the first months after the birth.

Tip: If intensive support from midwives is important to you, a birth center could be the right place for you. More on that in a moment.

Even though midwives are an important support, you should also familiarize yourself with all topics related to birth yourself in order to be mentally prepared for the birth and approach it optimistically. Below we have created a guide that prepares you perfectly for the birth. In it, we primarily address the following topics:

• The place of delivery

• Your birth team

• Your birth plan

• Hospital bag and administrative matters

• Being prepared for anything

• The first days after the birth

You should include your partner in all decisions; nevertheless, in the following we will focus entirely on you.

Photo by Rebekah Vos on Unsplash

Choosing the place of birth

One of the most important decisions in preparing for the birth is choosing the place of birth. Where should your child be born? What your ideal preparation looks like depends greatly on this decision.

Below we present the three common places to give birth:

• A hospital

• A birth center

• Your own home

The hospital as the place of birth

From a medical standpoint a hospital offers you the greatest safety. Births are everyday occurrences here, and knowledgeable doctors can be at your side within seconds. Statistically speaking, however, birth centers are just as safe as hospitals — more on that in a moment.

In hospitals, modern delivery rooms are largely furnished to feel homely and are designed to meet a wide range of needs. In addition to birthing tubs there are exercise balls and numerous other materials available that you can use during labor. You can also have an experienced midwife by your side at all times, if you wish.

To avoid being separated from your family during your stay, family rooms are often provided. Alternatively, you need to decide whether you would cope better with a private room and the potential loneliness than with a shared room, which you share with other women who are shortly before or shortly after giving birth.

Finding the right hospital for delivery is not all that easy. Opinions about the same hospital can vary widely among friends and online. I would recommend taking advantage of the delivery ward tours offered by individual hospitals. These usually take place once a month or even weekly. During these, delivery units staff will guide you through the unit, you will get an insight into the patient rooms as well as the delivery rooms and you can get a rough impression of the staff. Ask all your questions and listen closely to your gut: Is this the place where you want to bring your child into the world? Do you feel safe? Well cared for? Factors that can play into your decision include:

• Travel distance

• Overall impression of the hospital and staff

• Facilities and setup (Does the hospital have what I want?)

• Does the hospital have a pediatric/neonatal unit? Are they prepared for preemies?

• Would a birth plan be accepted?

• How high is the C-section rate compared with other hospitals?

 

Home birth and the birth center

Home births are currently steadily gaining in popularity. As the name suggests, you give birth to your child at home . The best way to prepare for this would be to look for a midwife who specializes in home births.

A birth center , on the other hand, is a middle ground between a home birth and a hospital. These places are home-like, run by midwives, and still have good access to medical care. What is special about birth centers is that expectant mothers meet their midwives (yes, it is often an entire team) regularly in the months before the birth and get to know them. This creates a close relationship of trust that helps many to remain relaxed during the birth. As mentioned above, births in birth centers are statistically as safe as in hospitals. At the same time, birth centers often involve fewer interventions (for example, epidurals are not allowed to be given).

Photo by John Looy on Unsplash

Who should be present at the birth?

Birth is a special and intimate moment. Think carefully in advance about whom you want to share this moment with and who can be of assistance to you. The birth is your moment, and you do not have to share it with anyone you do not truly want to have there. In addition to your partner, you could invite your mother, a sister, or other relatives and friends to enrich your birth team.

Your companion can significantly and positively influence the overall atmosphere during the birth. Ideally, you choose someone you trust who radiates calm and reassurance, even when things get turbulent. People who cannot stand the sight of blood or who themselves become nervous quickly, on the other hand, are not much help.

It should be clear to you and your companion that the birth proceeds according to your rules, which is why you should involve them in the preparations. During labor, needs can fluctuate greatly, and what feels right in one moment can feel entirely wrong in the next. Your companion should be able to adapt to your needs and not take it personally if you push them away. In addition, you can and should discuss in advance how your companion can best support you. Tell him or her before the birth what relaxes you, what music helps you, and what wishes you have for the birth. If you are no longer able to think clearly during the birth, the person must be able to act even without specific instructions.

Apart from your companion, you can also set additional ground rules. For example, you decide for yourself when, for how long, and whether you want a midwife at your side at all. Perhaps you feel safer if someone checks in on you regularly or stays with you. Perhaps you would rather focus entirely on yourself. In that case, you can agree with the staff that they only enter the room when you press the call button.

Birth plan: How should the birth play out?

To prepare well for the birth, you should think about what your ideal birth looks like. To do this, ask yourself the following questions and discuss your ideas with your midwife:

• How much space do I need? Do I want to stay in motion during labor? For example, walk around or bounce on a birthing ball? Or do I prefer a bed or a comfortable lounger?

• Do I need music?

• What room temperature will feel good to me?

• Can I imagine spending the labor phase in the bathtub or even having a water birth?

• How much support will I need? Do I want companions and midwives around me, or would I rather be left alone?

• Which exceptional situations scare me, and how can I address them?

• Which medical interventions can I accept, and which should only be used if my or the baby’s health is at risk? (epidural, episiotomy, cesarean section …)

• Which processes and interventions am I allowed and do I want to refuse as a patient? (regular CTG, preventive insertion of an IV line or the epidural …)

• What is important to me after the birth? (Bonding, i.e., lots of cuddle time; should your baby remain naked? How will you involve your partner?)

Create as detailed a plan as possible for the birth and share your vision with your midwife and your support person so that they can advocate for you in exceptional cases. However, keep in mind that during a birth not everything always goes as planned—do not cling too tightly to your ideas and stay flexible.

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

The birth – Be prepared for anything!

As we say in Germany: The first time won't go to plan, but the second one will. After my first son was born by an unplanned—and rushed—C-section and I had hardly any positive memories of the birth, my daughter was supposed to be born at home surrounded by family. The plan was set; we were prepared and very excited. Shortly before the birth, around the 36th week of pregnancy, it was determined that my old C-section scar would not withstand a natural birth and that my life as well as that of my unborn daughter would be at risk.

The home birth turned into a scheduled C-section. Because this time I was prepared for everything, had a fixed date for the C-section, and the doctors kindly explained every detail of the upcoming birth to me, I had a wonderful birth. The doctors remained consistently warm and communicative with me even during the C-section; my partner was by my side and was allowed to cuddle skin-to-skin with our baby until I came out of the OR.

What I want to tell you is this: Be prepared for anything. In addition to a natural birth, familiarize yourself with how a C-section works and put together your preferences for that as well. It was important to me that, after the birth, we were allowed two hours to be by ourselves as a family, and that our baby could stay naked except for the diaper.

Talk to your midwife, your partner, and the doctors about everything that weighs on you, so that you have an acceptable solution in mind for every eventuality. That way you can also prepare yourself mentally in the best possible way for the birth.

The hospital bag and arriving home

Finally, my tip is to pack your hospital bag early. Consider what will be especially good for you. In addition to comfortable clothing, my hospital bag consisted mostly of snacks, because hospital food just isn’t my thing. For my children I packed a favorite outfit for the trip home and a cozy blanket. The latter mainly because I wanted my children to be able to stay naked except for the diaper until discharge—for lots of cuddling and quick diaper changes.

Also prepare for the first days after the birth. Find out which administrative tasks are due in the first weeks, which matters you can take care of before the birth, and whether your partner is allowed to handle things on your behalf. Also stock the pantry, because no one wants to head to the supermarket first thing with a newborn. Make sure you have food at home that can be prepared quickly to save you time. You can also cook ahead or ask your family to support you. You should spend the first days after the birth with your baby and, if possible, your partner in bed and enjoy welcoming the new family member.

Photo by @ablondesgirljourney

Plans for the early days with a newborn

Already during pregnancy, you should think about what the first time after birth should look like. Do you want to breastfeed and what do you need for it? Perhaps you would also like to take a course with a lactation consultant. Who will take care of meals during the postpartum period? Where should your baby sleep?

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