Preparing for Birth: Setting the Stage

Photo by Anna Hecker on Unsplash

 

Most women have a clear image in their heads when they think of childbirth. Influenced by stories from family and friends, snippets from movies, and their own imagination. While some look forward to the arrival of the baby with joy, the idea of childbirth is often associated with fears for others.

Perhaps you are expecting a baby and have found your way here for that reason, in which case congratulations! Wonderful things await you! But even if you are just preparing for a possible pregnancy, you are in the right place. We will not only show you how to best prepare for the birth of your child but also how to deal with your fears about starting this exciting phase of life as relaxed and calm as possible.

What decisions must I make before the birth? Before giving birth, you should decide where you would like to give birth and who you want to have with you during the birth. You should also have clear ideas about the birth process and share them with your companion. Decide which interventions you will allow and which means should only be used in emergencies.

We have created a small guide with the most important framework conditions to prepare you for the upcoming birth.

Preparing for the Birth: You Can Do It!

Even if it might scare you, you can approach the birth of your child with confidence. Birth is a natural process and your body is made for it. You can also confidently turn to a midwife and your doctors, for whom births are part of their daily routine and they will support you as best as they can.

The midwife, in particular, can play an important role because, based on her experiences, she can help you find the right doctor and the perfect clinic for your needs. Start early with the search for a midwife and trust your instincts during the initial meeting. After all, this person should accompany you throughout the entire pregnancy and the first few months after birth.

Tip: If intensive support from midwives is important to you, a birth center might be the right place for you. But more on that later.

Even though midwives are an important support, you should also deal with all topics related to the birth yourself to be both mentally prepared for the birth and optimistic about it. Below, we have created a guide that perfectly prepares you for the birth. We primarily focus on the following topics:

• The place of birth

• Your birth team

• Your birth plan

• Hospital bag and authorities

• Being prepared for everything

• The first time after birth

You should include your partner in all decisions; however, we will focus entirely on you in the following blog post.

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The Choice of Birthplace

One of the most important decisions in preparing for the birth is choosing the place of birth. Where should your child be born? How you optimally prepare for the birth depends heavily on this decision.

Below, we present the three common places of birth:

• A clinic

• A birth center

• Your own home

The Clinic as a Birthplace

A clinic offers you the greatest security from a medical perspective. Births are routine here, and expert doctors can be with you within seconds. Statistically, however, birth centers are just as safe as hospitals – more on that shortly.

In hospitals, modern delivery rooms are largely homely and designed to meet various needs. In addition to birthing tubs, there are exercise balls and numerous other resources available for use during birth. Furthermore, if you want, you can always have an experienced midwife by your side.

To avoid being separated from your family during your stay, family rooms are often provided. Alternatively, you must decide whether you can better cope with the solitude of a single room than with a shared room that you share with other women who are shortly before or after giving birth.

Finding the right clinic for the delivery is not so easy. Opinions about the same clinic can vary widely among acquaintances and on the internet. I would recommend taking advantage of the delivery room tours offered by individual clinics. These usually take place once a month or even weekly. During these tours, you will be guided by delivery room staff through the maternity ward, gain an insight into the patient rooms as well as the delivery rooms, and get a vague idea of the staff. Ask all your questions and trust your instincts: Is this the place you want to bring your child into the world? Do you feel safe? Well taken care of? Factors that may influence the decision include:

• Distance and travel

• Overall impression of the clinic and staff

• Facilities (Does the clinic have what I wish for?)

• Does the clinic have a children's ward? Are they prepared for premature babies?

• Would a birth plan be accepted?

• What is the rate of cesarean births compared to other hospitals?

 

Home Birth and the Birth Center

Home births are steadily gaining popularity. As the name suggests, you bring your child into the world at home. To optimally prepare for such a birth, you should find a midwife who specializes in home births.

The birth center, on the other hand, is a middle ground between home birth and clinic. These centers are homely, operated by midwives, yet have good access to medical care. What is special about birth centers is that expectant mothers meet and get to know their midwives (yes, it is often a whole team) regularly in the months leading up to the birth. This creates a close trust relationship that helps many to remain relaxed during birth. As mentioned earlier, births in birth centers are statistically as safe as in hospitals. At the same time, birth centers often require fewer interventions (e.g., epidurals cannot be given).

Photo by John Looy on Unsplash

Who Should Be Present at the Birth?

A birth is a special and intimate moment. Think carefully beforehand about who you want to share this moment with and who can be of help to you. The birth is your moment, and you don't have to share it with anyone you do not truly want to be there. Besides your partner, your mother, sister, or other relatives and friends may enrich your birth team.

The accompanying person can significantly and positively influence the mood during the birth. Ideally, you choose someone familiar who exudes calm and security, even when things get turbulent. People who cannot stand the sight of blood or become easily nervous themselves are not much help.

You and your companion should be clear that the birth proceeds according to your rules, which is why you should involve them in the birth preparations. During the birth, needs can fluctuate greatly, and what feels right at one moment may feel completely wrong at the next. Your companion should be able to adapt to your needs and not take it personally if you dismiss them. Additionally, you can and should discuss beforehand how your companion can best support you. Tell him or her before the birth what relaxes you, which music benefits you, and what wishes you have for the birth. Should you be unable to think clearly during the birth, the person must also be able to act without specific instructions.

Apart from your companion, you can also determine further parameters. Thus, you decide for yourself when, how long, and if you even want a midwife by your side. Perhaps you feel safer if someone regularly checks on you or stays with you. But maybe you want to focus entirely on yourself. In that case, you can agree with the staff that they only enter the room when you ring the bell.

Birth Plan: What's on the Schedule?

To prepare well for the birth, you should consider what your ideal birth would look like. For this, you should ask yourself the following questions and discuss your ideas with your midwife:

• How much space do I need? Do I want to stay active during labor? Like walking around or bouncing on an exercise ball? Or do I prefer a bed or a comfortable couch?

• Do I need music?

• What room temperature will suit me?

• Can I imagine spending the labor phase in the bathtub or even having a water birth?

• How much support will I need? Do I want companions and midwives around me, or would I prefer to be left in peace?

• What exceptional situations frighten me and how can I address them?

• What medical procedures can I accept, and which should only be used if my or the child's health is at risk? (epidural, episiotomy, cesarean section …)

• What procedures and interventions do I wish to refuse as a patient? (regular CTG, proactive insertion of a drip or epidural …)

• What is important to me after the birth? (Bonding, meaning intensive cuddle time, should your baby remain naked? How do you involve your partner?)

Create a detailed plan for the birth and share your vision with your midwife and companion so that they can stand up for you in exceptional cases. However, keep in mind that during birth, not everything always goes as planned – don't hold on too tightly to your ideas and remain flexible.

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

The Birth – Be Prepared for Everything!

As the saying goes: It won't go to plan the first time, but it will the second time. After my first son was born via an unplanned – and rushed – cesarean section, and I had hardly any positive memories of the birth, my daughter was supposed to be born at home with family present. The plan was set, we were prepared and full of anticipation. Shortly before the birth, around the 36th week of pregnancy, it was determined that my old cesarean scar would not withstand a natural birth and that my life as well as the life of my unborn daughter would be at risk.

What was supposed to be a home birth turned into a planned cesarean section. Since this time I was prepared for everything, got a fixed date for the c-section, and the doctors lovingly explained all the details of the upcoming birth to me, I had a wonderful birth. The doctors remained consistently gentle and connected with me during the c-section, my partner was by my side and was allowed to cuddle with our naked baby until I came out of the operating room.

What I want to say is: Be prepared for everything. Inform yourself about the procedure of a c-section alongside natural birth and also put together your wishes for this. It was important to me that we could be alone as a family for two hours after the birth and that our baby could remain naked except for the diaper.

Talk to your midwife, your partner, and the doctors about everything that troubles you so that you have an acceptable solution in mind for all eventualities. This way, you can also mentally prepare yourself optimally for the birth.

The Hospital Bag and the Arrival Home

Finally, here's a tip: pack your hospital bag early. Consider what particularly benefits you. Besides comfortable clothing, my hospital bag mainly consisted of snacks because hospital food is simply not my thing. For my children, I had a favorite outfit for the way home and a cuddle blanket with me. The latter mainly because I wanted my children to remain naked except for the diaper until we left the hospital – for intense cuddling and quick diaper changes.

Moreover, prepare for the first few days after the birth. Find out what official matters need to be taken care of in the first few weeks, which topics you can address before the birth, and whether your partner can handle things on your behalf. Also, fill the pantry, as no one wants to go to the supermarket with a newborn. Ensure there is food in the house that can be quickly prepared to save you time. For this, you can also pre-cook or ask your family for support. The first period after the birth should be spent in bed with your baby and, if possible, your partner, enjoying the arrival of the new family member.

Photo by @ablondesgirljourney

Plans for the Early Days with a Baby

During pregnancy, you should already be thinking about what the first days after the birth should look like. Do you want to breastfeed, and what do you need for that? Perhaps you also want to take a course with a lactation consultant. Who will take care of meals during the postpartum period? Where should your baby sleep?

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